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First page of doujinshi, done!! Constructive criticism onegai~? - Welcome...

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November 26th, 2005


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05:13 pm - First page of doujinshi, done!! Constructive criticism onegai~?
Omg my first page of my doujinshi done~!! *cries* rejoice everyone!!  Toning this took soooo much longer than i thought it was going to take >.< Sososososoooooo much longer.  Anyway, before I move on to the second page, I'd really like it if people can give me some comments and suggestions about this first page, what you like (if anything lol), what you don't like, how you think I can make it look better, anything (click on the thumbnail for the bigger version).

 I think I used a little bit too much tone, when I look at it it looks very......grey...compared to the mangas and doujinshis I buy.  I also think Omi's head looks too big compared to his body and Aya's head in the last frame looks too....long -_-;;  Oh and I didn't ink it, the lines are pencil, so they're sketchy, do forgive that ^^;;  Anyway, fire away those comments, I know there's some very artistic and talented people on my f-list so I'm counting on all of you~!! Yoroshiku~! <3<3<3



Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished

(5 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:kougarulz
Date:November 27th, 2005 12:32 am (UTC)
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hmm lets see.

[-]i find that their heads are a bit big for their bodies
[-]you have shading on the body parts. but not on the clothing. so the clothing looks flat
[-]and their eyes seem too close to the side of the face. there should be an eye space between each eye, and the sides. (looks through 'how to draw anime books')

[+]i like the tones and textures for the backgrounds, and clothing
[+]i also luv your eyes ^^ i find male eyes really hard to do for some reason :/
[+]the timing of frames are good ^^ following the scenes is easy.


point blank way better then my 1st attempt like 5-8yrs ago lol. ^^ but this gives me inspiration to do another one ^^. how did you do your backgrounds? on the comp? i have problems filling in colors (blk and white textures) any pointers ^^
[User Picture]
From:koneko_desu
Date:November 27th, 2005 01:00 am (UTC)
(Link)
ooh that's a nice way to post the +ves and -ves =^-^= nice and easy for me to read. i do tend to draw the heads first which results in them looking big-headed -_- i'll try to go back and fix that along with the spacing of the eyes. i know what u mean it's just when i try to leave a bigger space between the eyes and the side of the face it looks....awkward /: but i'll do some more practice faces and re-draw it ^-^

and i didn't even notice the lack of shading on the clothes XDD omg thank you sooo much for pointing that out!!! i concentrated so much on their skin i just skipped right over their clothes lol, need to fix that too *nodnods*

male eyes? well omi's is like any bubbly eyed girl XD and i'm glad u're finding it easy to follow so far, that was my biggest concern for this trial page. the clothing i used a pattern overlay in photoshop instead of tones(i cheated XDD my bad).

the b/g (ie. like for the door) i used a tone i scanned into my computer (which is why it looks like it's checkered, screwy scanner -_-) and it's the same tone i used for the hair and their skin shading and the wall aya's leaning on (if it looks darker i just used 2 layers of the tone, and if it's significantly lighter i used the eraser in photoshop with the opacity set to 50%).

Basically I used one tone, and got the different shades using methods in photoshop XD god i cheat so badly -_- are u planning to use photoshop? or doing the tones by hand? photoshop i'd be happy to give pointers, by hand i'm afraid i'd just lead u astray as i've never actually done tones by hand /:
[User Picture]
From:kougarulz
Date:November 27th, 2005 02:03 am (UTC)
(Link)
i would luv to do them on the comp. but i find it easier drawing by hand. if i had a scanner (which i do. but it won't work on windows XP grrrrrrrr) i would draw free hand. and then do the shading and what not on my comp T-T.... maybe i'll invest in one later on >.> or ..... i do have a tablet .... but i still find it way easier >.> by hand ^^ heres a drawing i did ^^ (which he might be in my yaoi doujinshi i do ^^)

ROUGH SKETCH ~ on paper (scanned by digital camera)
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

FINISHED PICTURE ~ colored on comp by adobe
Image hosted by Photobucket.com


heres another one i did.
Uke Bunny Boy lol
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

the one thing i really suck at. are backgrounds, hands, and feet i'm getting better at but not good....... so i usually tend to not to draw em lol

[User Picture]
From:koneko_desu
Date:November 27th, 2005 02:11 am (UTC)
(Link)
oh hell i don't actually draw them on the computer O_O are u kidding me??? that'd take months to draw with this crappy mouse lol. no i draw the lineart by hand with a pencil and scan it in then photoshop the shading and stuff onto it (god i just finished page 2 and aya's goddamn hand took an hour by itself, almost made me erase a hole in the freaking paper)
[User Picture]
From:kougarulz
Date:November 27th, 2005 02:17 am (UTC)
(Link)
ahhh i know those days.

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