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August 31st, 2009


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05:38 pm - So...another step forward in life
 Recently I just moved.  In my previous apartment I had a Japanese roommate and a Chinese roommate.  In my new apartment I have just one Chinese roommate.  My Japanese roommate is returning from Japan today, my previous Chinese roommate returned to China on Friday.  My new Chinese roommate is currently away for awhile on a trip.

I've noticed that recently, after having moved, it's been really odd.  Like before, even though me and my 2 old roommates didn't always talk or something even when we were all home you would know there's other people in the apartment.  You can hear the murmur of videos being played on computers, or someone cooking in the kitchen, or someone talking softly on the phone or whatever.  Now though, with just me in my new apartment it's really...weird.  I've been keeping the television on (my new roommate has cable and a tv) almost everytime I'm home, even when I'm not watching just so I have some noise in the room, otherwise it's like...creepy, or just...lonely, I don't know, I don't like using that word.  

I miss my roommate that returned to China even though she just left last Friday, I mean we were really, really good friends, she was a really sweet girl and I don't think it's yet sunk in that I might never see her again.  After she comes back from her trip to China she's going to another city in hopes of having better luck finding a job, and I'll be heading to Japan in December and who knows what afterwards.  I'm really going to miss her a lot, and with all the stress we were both under when she left (she was packing and had to find a way to shove everything she owned into 3 suitcases, and I was packing and moving at the same time) we didn't even really have time to sit down and talk before she left ;A;

I kind of want the old days back, it was comfortable in the old apartment with my 2 old roommates, since we were all friends before we became roommates we never felt strange around each other.  I like my new roommate, she's very nice and all, but because I just met her we're still in that being super-polite to each other stage so I don't feel quite at home in this new apartment (plus I'm subletting from her so I keep feeling this is still her apartment and I'm afraid of disturbing her stuff and other things like that).   I went back to the old apartment yesterday to do some final cleaning before my Japanese roommate returns today and one of the new tenants takes over my room in September and I saw the teddy bear my Chinese friend left on her bed.  She said she really wanted to take the bear with her because whenever she felt down or cried she'd hold the bear, but she couldn't because her luggage wouldn't fit.  I just held the bear and really wanted to cry, the apartment just looked so empty with her and my stuff all gone and I know that she's gone too.

I know I really shouldn't be feeling this way, I mean it's not like anything bad's happened, she's back in China with her family and friends, I have a great new roommate.  Besides, in the future I think I'll be moving around a lot more considering I'll have to go to Japan, meet new people, and most likely one day have to leave them and possibly go elsewhere.  I mean that's like in the 21st century right?  And the more friends one has all over the world the better since then no matter where you go you'll be surrounded by friends, but still it's just weird after having gotten used to living a certain way for so long.  Even when I went back to my old apartment yesterday when I opened the door I thought to myself "Ah, I'm home~" when thinking back, that's not really my home anymore.

*Sigh*  I don't think this bouncing around lifestyle's for me, I think in the future I'd like a job where I can stay mostly in one place and not have to move. I mean I wouldn't mind going away for awhile for conferences or whatnot, business trips and stuff, but having to actually leave friends behind and move is too much hassle.  Plus I'm a packrat, so I always end up with way too much stuff that makes moving a pain.

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Comments:


[User Picture]
From:platinum_ice
Date:August 31st, 2009 10:29 pm (UTC)
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awww you *hugs*
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From:koneko_desu
Date:August 31st, 2009 11:20 pm (UTC)
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*Hugs back*
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From:lana_jasmine
Date:August 31st, 2009 11:17 pm (UTC)
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I was just about to post an entry of somewhat similiar feelings after I read this quote from one of my favourite authors:

Everything passes. Nobody gets anything for keeps. And that's how we've got to live.


You should mail your roommate's teddy bear to her, I bet she'd really appreciate it.
[User Picture]
From:koneko_desu
Date:August 31st, 2009 11:22 pm (UTC)
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You know...I really should...hmm....

If I were to ship something to China how would I address it? Like the address would all be in Chinese, so then do I just put "CHINA" at the bottom in English so that Canada Post knows to stick it in the TO CHINA pile and get someone there to read the exact location?

On another note, how have you been? Been awhile since we hung out :)
[User Picture]
From:lana_jasmine
Date:August 31st, 2009 11:51 pm (UTC)
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I know that you can send things using the English alphabet, but either way I would write "People's Republic of China" really clearly on the last line of the address so it doesn't end up in Taiwan (I don't have much faith in our postal service lol).

I've been ok. I've been wanting to hang out, but with your mom in town and your move, I didn't want to bother you.

[User Picture]
From:koneko_desu
Date:September 1st, 2009 03:37 am (UTC)
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Lol, I'll write MAINLAND CHINA! MAINLAND MAINLAND MAINLAAAAAAND!! and see where it ends up XD
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From:lana_jasmine
Date:September 1st, 2009 05:15 am (UTC)
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Do you want to check out that restaurant you mentioned this week? Unless of course you're too busy :P
[User Picture]
From:sapphosdaughter
Date:September 1st, 2009 12:48 am (UTC)
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I know what you mean. My last girlfriend had wanderlust really badly and she up and leaves everything behind regularly. She loves that lifestyle while I need to feet roots somewhere.
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From:koneko_desu
Date:September 1st, 2009 03:39 am (UTC)
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Lol, well sometimes I do feel like I've stayed in a place too long and need to go somewhere else, but I think like, with a week or two vacation somewhere else I'd want to come back to someplace I can call home.
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From:sapphosdaughter
Date:September 1st, 2009 03:51 am (UTC)
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Vacation is one thing. :) But, going off to live somewhere else for a year, then drop most of the things you own and move across either a province, country, or ocean is a whole other thing.

I wish I could go somewhere for a couple weeks and come home.
From:sweet_gable
Date:September 1st, 2009 02:09 am (UTC)
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Aww, I know what you mean :(
I've also just moved to another city, my previous roommates who were also friends, I'm just living by myself now without any roommates..
it's not easy, but we'll get through!
*lots of hugs*
[User Picture]
From:koneko_desu
Date:September 1st, 2009 03:41 am (UTC)
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*Hughug*

It's just really weird though because before university I was perfectly ok being by myself all the time with no on else to keep me company except a computer and internet.
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From:surealistic_des
Date:September 1st, 2009 10:09 am (UTC)
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That's one of the hard things I think, with roommates, especially international roommates. :( I felt all sad when when I left Japan, knowing I won't be able to see them again, considering we were all spread over the globe. But that's life right?

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