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September 8th, 2005


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06:06 pm - Mommy I miss you T_T
it seems like when me and my mom are together, i can't help but argue or yell at her for doing something stupid. it's like whatever she does i can find some fault with it. that's how it was during her 3 day stay in ottawa with me. it was the same when i left for china this summer in june. the day before i left we got into a huge argument. but as i was leaving in the airport, she asked for a hug, and all of a sudden i felt like crying. through massive blinking i managed to get through it without the waterfalls coming down. In ottawa, as she dropped me off after coming back to the campus from our last meal together in chinatown, she came out of the car to hug me. The same urge to cry swept through me. Never before have i wanted so badly to hide under my covers and cry my eyes out, too bad i had a roommate. So mommy, even though i know u don't know this site, and there's no way u'd ever read this, since i can't seem to say this to u in person, this is for u.

I miss you mommy, i wanna go home. I'm sorry i yelled so much and was always so impatient with you. It's not that i don't say much when u call, it's not because i'm thinking u're annoying, it's because i'm afraid if i start talking i'll start crying. maybe we didn't always agree on things, but i never realized that just the fact that u were there acted as a wall for me to lean on. i know i didn't really talk to u a lot, i always locked myself in my room whenever u were home, but now i wish we can sit on our sofa and watch some tv together. i thought i'd have no problems leaving, i thought i was way past ready to be free. i dreamed of the day when i could leave home and be on my own and not have to call to let u know where i was every few hours, but now that i have it all...i don't want it anymore. i want to go home. i don't want to be out in the world yet, don't want to lose my wall. Mommy I Miss You, if only u knew how much. <3

For those of u lucky enough to be staying home for university...words can't describe how i envy u.
Current Mood: lonelylonely
Current Music: It's Too Late - Weiss

(9 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:koneko_desu
Date:September 8th, 2005 10:24 pm (UTC)
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i don't even have a freaking picture of my mom!! wth?! *hits herself* wth is wrong with me?!?!?!?
[User Picture]
From:toxicfrog
Date:September 9th, 2005 01:56 am (UTC)
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awww.. T^T

Being on your own must be so tough.. especially in a city so far away from everyone you know. I completely respect you and anyone else who can leave home to pursue the future they want for themselves. I hope you get settled in soon! Miss you <3
[User Picture]
From:koneko_desu
Date:September 9th, 2005 01:35 pm (UTC)
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yeah it's not so bad when i'm like, talking to other ppl on my floor or actually wandering around campus/in class or walking around ottawa, but it sucks at night when there's nothing to do and then i start thinking about home >.
From:_pseudonym
Date:September 9th, 2005 03:31 am (UTC)
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:( I didn't know you really missed London all that much. I was so excited for you because you were finally able to leave this town. I guess you never really know what you've got until you don't have it anymore, eh?

Chin up! It'll be Christmas before you know it! Maybe if you just wrote 'I miss you' on a card and nothing else, and mailed it to your mum, it would make you feel better... if you can't say it in person? I bet she's missing you a lot as well.

*hugs*

I miss you too!
[User Picture]
From:koneko_desu
Date:September 9th, 2005 01:37 pm (UTC)
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i was excited to leave london too, omg i was SO excited! but then i realized that all my friends are there and i know where everything is so it's so much more convenient. here i just know rideau centre, chinatown, and where parliament hill is, and i don't have a car so i can't wander the city too far and i'm not sure how their transit works yet.

that card idea's awesome, i'll do that, now just to find a mailbox somewhere XD how much is postage, do u know?
From:_pseudonym
Date:September 9th, 2005 06:00 pm (UTC)
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Ahh, $0.50/stamp I believe. And you'll need just one. :)

Also, maybe you can find a fellow anime friend on LJ from U of O:

http://www.livejournal.com/community/ottawau/
http://www.livejournal.com/community/ottawa/

I joined the one that there is for Western.
[User Picture]
From:koneko_desu
Date:September 10th, 2005 12:49 am (UTC)
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omg thank you!! u always seem to find things on the net that makes my life soooooooooooo much easier
From:(Anonymous)
Date:September 9th, 2005 10:34 pm (UTC)

Hi Mengya

(Link)
Hey Mangya, I can understand how you feel.Although I have my family here,I feel very lonely because I barely get to see our friends here and everything is new.I miss you so much and it was good to chat with you before you left.I hope I'll see you around sometime,and take care of yourself.Love,James.
[User Picture]
From:koneko_desu
Date:September 10th, 2005 12:51 am (UTC)

Re: Hi Mengya

(Link)
JAMES!! dude there's a guy in my residence that's just like u!! he lives next door!! his book shelf's full of like.....academic books, and when me, him, and 2 other girls went to grab dinner together today he was using all these big words and talking all sophisticated and stuff!! XD but u were more fun cuz i could tease u and we get to laugh together ^-^ i miss ya dude!

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